


Past is Past

by Northern_Lady



Category: Dark Matter (TV)
Genre: Crack Relationships, Dreams and Nightmares, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Rape Reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:59:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9510701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Lady/pseuds/Northern_Lady
Summary: While working through a nightmare memory, Das realizes some things about her past. Not only is she not an orphan, but her father is already part of her life.





	

It was just a simple shopping trip at a remote outpost station. Das had been looking forward to the chance to get some updated tech for a while now. The station was remote but had a large enough population that the parts she needed should be available. The others from the crew were headed to bars and gyms and gambling establishments or where ever it was that they liked to go and relax. Das was happy for the chance to be alone for a little while. As they youngest crew member, the others were always watching over her, parenting her sometimes. She was used to wandering the ship alone but when they stopped at stations and planets someone from the crew often went with her. Not this time. There had been an argument over dinner last night. At least half of the crew was still angry with the other half and when she had suggested she just do her shopping alone everyone had been too tense and distracted to protest. 

The tech shop was one of her favorite places to go. She quickly found the parts that she needed and then moved on to look at more fun areas of the shop. Das wandered for a long while, picking up a few more items that weren’t strictly needed on the Raza but were more for her personal use. She paid for her purchases and made her way out of the shop into one of the station corridors. She went past a group of rough looking men and around a few more corners. She heard footsteps behind her. It was then that she realized she was being followed. 

Das picked up the pace of her steps, looking for another shop nearby that she could duck into. There was a bar up ahead. She wouldn’t be allowed in there at her age but it would at least be a place to get rid of her follower. The steps behind her quickened pace. Das ducked into the open doorway of the bar. A stern looking woman stood guarding the door. 

“I don’t think so dear.” The woman said, her arms crossed across her chest. “Folks your age should stay away from places like this.” 

“I’m not here to drink, I just…” Das protested. 

The man who had been following her caught up, took one look at the burly guard and continued past them both. 

“He giving you a problem?” The woman asked Das, seeing the relief on her face. 

“Not yet.” Das admitted. 

“He follows lots of young women around on this station. Makes a nuisance of himself but he’s mostly harmless. He gives you any trouble just remind him that Patti still expects him to behave.” Patti the guard said. 

“Thanks. I will.” Das hurried back to the dock and went straight to her room, locking herself inside. 

Das awoke that night drenched in sweat and panicked. She gasped a few times before she caught her breath but even then the feelings of fear and revulsion didn’t leave her. There had been many times during the past year when an experience she’d had during the day had triggered a dream memory at night. Sometimes she would eat a food and then have a dream remembering another time she or one of the crew had eaten that food. This was different. This was her own memory and it was horrible. She had wanted for so long to remember and now she wanted only to forget. 

Das threw back the covers of her bed and began to pace the room. It didn’t help. She couldn’t shake the terror. It wasn’t safe in this room. It wasn’t safe anywhere. It never had been. She had only believed it was safe because she couldn’t remember. Her heart was racing. Her breaths were coming rapidly. Some instinct kicked in and told her to hide. She climbed up onto her bed and removed a panel on the ceiling, pulling herself inside the ventilation tunnel. 

Das kept crawling the for the greater of an hour before she finally collapsed into a puddle of tears in one of the shafts. She didn’t have the strength to flee her memories any longer. She wasn’t very aware of where she was on the ship or of how much noise she was making as she sobbed inconsolably. Then she heard a noise below her. 

“Five?” It was Marcus.

She sucked in a breath. She must be right above his room. She struggled to get control of herself but still only managed a sniffle. 

“Are you okay up there?” he spoke a second time. “I know it’s you. No one else crawls these tunnels. Come on out.” He said. 

Das crawled ahead a few feet down a narrow shaft to the wall panel of his room. A light switched on as Das removed the panel and stepped into his room. 

“What’s going on?” He asked her, concern etched on his ordinarily unconcerned features. 

“I had a nightmare. A memory. I wasn’t ready for it.” She told him, not wanting to share the details of what had happened to her. 

“One of your memories or someone else’s?” 

“One of mine.” She said. “Someone...someone hurt me once… I was thirteen and...and my friend TJ tried to help me but he wasn’t strong enough… and I really didn’t want to remember any of it.” 

“Oh. I can see why you’d rather not have that memory back.” Marcus said. 

“It’s okay. I got quite a few memories that I did want back too,” She told him. “From what I can remember, the stuff in my official records isn’t true. Found out that I hacked into my computer records when I was at the orphanage. It was my mom and step father who died in the shuttle crash when I was a baby. I have a father alive somewhere.” 

“Then why did you end up in an orphanage? Why didn’t they send you to live with your father?” Marcus asked her. 

“The records said he was a criminal with whereabouts unknown. I guess they figured that if authorities ever caught my father he would go to prison anyway and I would still be in an orphanage.” Das shrugged. 

“That’s stupid. You still might have had a grandmother who could have taken you. Even criminals have mothers. Besides maybe he had money and money always helps.” 

Das nodded her agreement. “Anyway, I should probably get back to bed. Thanks for distracting me from being scared for a little while.” 

“Yeah. No problem.” He said. Das moved to leave and he spoke again, “Hey Das, next time you can just come to the door.” 

She nodded. “Okay, I will.” And with that she left. 

By the time Das got back to her room, she wasn’t feeling nearly so on edge but she wasn’t ready to sleep either. Something was nagging at her mind. When Marcus had mentioned that even criminals had mothers, she had gotten to thinking about the time she spent on his family’s farm while under the simulation. Marcus had been a criminal and he’d had good parents. She might have had kind grandparents like that to raise her had they not been such idiots running the orphanage. That wasn’t all that was bothering her though. Then she started to wonder, crazy as it was, if Marcus actually was her father? What if before she had lost her memories she had located her biological father and when she had been forced to flee the station with TJ, she had chosen the Raza purposely for a chance to meet him? But that was stupid. It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be true because… well it just couldn’t. 

Unable to escape her crazy train of thought, Das sat down at the computer and began to research her own file and Marcus’s file. She didn’t see anything written there that she hadn’t already seen all the other times she’d read it. Then it occurred to her to look up her mother, Maria Kolburn. She remembered the name from something she had read in the orphanage. Sure enough, Maria Kolburn was married to a Benton Mills. Maria had been employed at a place called Centron Technology as an engineer and had a daughter listed, Emily. Das read the file three times before she finally saw the connection. Centron Technology was located in the same city where Marcus had committed theft seventeen years ago. That was it, proof that that Marcus Boone had been in the same city as Maria Kolburn at the right time to be her father. 

Das got up from the computer and began to pace the room. She told herself over and over that it didn’t mean anything. It was a huge city anyway and there was a good chance that Marcus and Maria had never even met. Besides that, she didn’t want or need him to be her father. She had been just fine on her own for sixteen years. Why would she need to know the identity of her criminal father now? 

Eventually Das did sleep that night but her sleep was not very restful. She looked exhausted enough at breakfast that even Two noticed it. 

“Did you sleep alright last night?” Two asked. 

“Um, yeah, I’m fine.” Das said. Marcus raised an eyebrow at what he knew to be a lie but he said nothing. “I’m not hungry. I need to go talk to the android.” 

Das found the Android on the bridge as expected. “Do you have all of our DNA in your database?” She asked without preamble. 

“Of course,” The android replied. 

“Then you would already know if any of us on the ship are related?” Das asked. 

“Are you speaking of a biological relationship between crew members?” 

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Das could hardly believe she was asking this.

“It has never occurred to me to analyse crew members DNA for biological relationships. I can do so now if you wish?” 

Das nodded. 

The android slowly blinked as if thinking something over intently. “Yes, I have indeed found a biological relationship. I must admit that this is quite surprising.” 

“What did you find?” Das could hardly hide her anxiousness. 

“I have discovered that there is a ninety nine percent likelihood that your biological father is Marcus.” The Android told Das. 

Das felt herself bursting into tears before she could stop herself. She hadn’t really expected it to be true. Not really. It had just been another one of those dead ends and false leads she had wanted to check off the list in the never ending search for her family. Before she could even realize what she was doing, Das fled the room, overcome with emotion. 

Das locked herself in her room that day. She tried to distract herself with one of her circuitry projects. She tried to watch an entertaining movie on her computer. She paced the room. She changed her clothes three times. She didn’t know why she was hiding. How hard could it be to just go tell Marcus the truth? But no, she couldn’t tell him. They got along pretty well as crewmates but maybe he didn’t want to be a father. If she told him the truth it could ruin everything. He probably didn’t want a daughter or the responsibility of a minor to care for. And if she didn’t tell him, how could she live with keeping a secret like that from him? 

She stayed in her room all day and didn’t leave it the next morning for breakfast. Late that afternoon a knock on the door made her go quiet from where she lay curled up on her bed crying. 

“Das, are you okay in there?” It was Three. 

“I’m fine,” She called out but even she could hear the rawness in her voice from all the crying she had been doing. She was clearly not fine. 

“We both know you’re not fine. I just talked to the Android. Can I come in?” 

Panicked, Das got to her feet and hit the button to open the door. “What did she tell you?” She asked him, her face streaked with tears. 

“That you ran off the bridge crying yesterday morning and no one has seen you since,” Marcus said. 

“That’s all? That’s all she said?” 

“That’s all she said. What’s going on with you? We had your favorite for lunch and you didn’t even show.” 

Das swallowed. “Maybe you should come in, sit down.” 

He did as she asked. 

“I have this obsession with finding my real father. Last night it occurred to me that maybe I was looking for him even back before the memory wipe, and maybe TJ and I boarded this particular ship for a reason...so this morning I asked the Android if she had the DNA of all the crew and if there were any biological relationships between them...and…” 

“And there were?” Marcus asked, curious. 

Das nodded. “There were...I don’t know how to tell you this…” 

Then the realization hit him. “Wait? Are you trying to tell me that I’m your father?”

Das nodded again, unable to speak. 

“And the Android is sure about that?” He asked, stunned and confused. 

“She is sure. She said ninety nine percent.” Das said as she waited, holding her breath, for him to process this information. 

Finally, he looked up at her. “Okay.” Was all he said. 

Das let out her breath, both relieved and confused. “Does that mean you’re okay with this?” 

“Well it’s a bit of a shock but yeah, I’m okay with it. I take it you’re not or you wouldn’t have locked yourself away crying. I don’t blame you though. You shouldn’t have had to grow up in an orphanage. I am sorry about that.” 

“It’s not like that...I was just scared...terrified really...that maybe you wouldn’t want a daughter.” She admitted anxiously. 

Marcus got to his feet and put his and on her shoulder. “Kid, if I’m gonna have a daughter, I’m just glad it’s you.” 

For seemingly the hundredth time that day, Das burst into tears again. Marcus moved a step closer to her and hugged her. She hugged him in return and was glad that he didn’t let go of her right away. The relief and joy she felt at finding that not only did she have a father but that he had accepted her was overwhelming. She wasn’t sure she ever wanted to let go. He seemed to understand if the way he held on to her tightly was any indication. 

Two stopped in the open doorway and found the pair of them still embraced. They might have hardly noticed her if she hadn’t spoken, “What’s going on here?” 

“Maybe you should ask the Android,” Marcus said. 

“Fine, I will.” Two said, irritated and she left them alone again. 

When Marcus finally did let her go, Das wiped away her tears and looked up at Marcus. “So now what?” 

“Now, we get you something to eat. You’ve missed four meals. There’s no way I’m gonna let you starve.” 

Das found herself smiling as she followed Marcus out to the mess hall. 

****************************

The Android never told Two anything about Das and Marcus. She didn’t understand the question and rather than pursue it, Two decided to just let the matter rest. Well she tried to anyway, but there was something different about the way Marcus and Das were acting. She supposed they had been closer since he had rescued her from kidnappers a month ago but this was different. It was as if Marcus was being Paternal and Das actually looked up to him in some way. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, she wondered what had changed to cause that. 

Two wasn’t the only one to notice the change. Six saw it too. They stopped on a cold planet and before exiting the ship, Marcus told Das she would freeze if she went out wearing only her sweater. The girl seemed somehow irritated and thankful at the same time. She did as he asked and got a jacket without protest anyway. A few days later Marcus came down with a cold and Das was endlessly fussing over him, trying to get him to eat better, bringing him soup and the like. It might have been sweet if it didn't seem so unusual. 

Then one afternoon Two was with the crew making plans for a Robin Hood sort of mission. They were going to Rob a wealthy corrupt bank President. 

“Marcus and I will go through the side door,” Two was saying. “But first Six will have to take Das to the control room so she can open the door.” 

“Why can't the Android do it? There is no reason to put the kid in danger.” Marcus spoke up. 

“Because that would put the Android in danger.” Das said, a little irritated. “Besides the control room is safe for that 30 minute window when the guards change shifts. That will be plenty of time. I’ll be fine.” 

Marcus was shaking his head. “No, it’s too risky. What if the guards come back early?”

“That's what I will be there for.” Six pointed out. “Though, I don't really disagree with you on this one.” 

“What, you two agree all of a sudden?” Two said. “Doesn't matter, I happen to be the captain of this ship. I say she goes.” 

“You don't get to decide that.” Marcus argued.

“Five is a member of this crew, so yes, I do get to decide that.” Two said though she wasn't angry yet, just annoyed. 

“Stop it! Just stop it!” Das was getting emotional. There were tears on her face. “I got by just fine on my own for sixteen years.I don't need…” she trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished. 

“You don't need what?” Marcus answered her. 

Das didn't reply. The room fell silent. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Two broke the silence. Still no one answered her. 

“I believe I may have an explanation.” Android said. She had been watching the whole exchange with fascination. “I believe this behavior is happening in response to the DNA results that I gave to Das almost three weeks ago. I must admit, I did not anticipate that they would behave like this having spent so long outside of the typical family unit.” 

“What DNA result?” Two asked, still not understanding. 

“Five is the biological daughter of Three.” Android said. 

“How is that possible?” Six asked. “Her records said her parents died in a shuttle crash.” 

“My mother and my step father died in the shuttle crash.” Das explained. “The records I hacked into back at the orphanage said that my real father was a criminal. I realized a few weeks ago why I came to the Raza and not just any ship when TJ and I were in trouble….” 

“You thought you’d found your father, “ Two said, understanding. 

“Yeah, and now I really have.” Das said. 

“But you're right Das, he doesn't get to tell you what to do just because of some DNA result,” Two said. 

“And the title Captain means you can?” Six protested. 

“Yeah, I think it does. If you don't like the rules you can get off my ship.” 

“Legally speaking, I don't think you can order a minor to do something dangerous like that.” Six said. 

“She wants to go. It’s not like I am forcing her. And it isn't even dangerous.” Two countered. 

“Fine, so if she gets hurt out there you won't mind if I kill you?” Marcus said with sarcasm. 

“No one needs to kill anyone.” Das said sadly. “I won't go. I’ll just stay on the ship. The Android can go instead.” 

“You can’t be serious?” Two said, “He’s been your father for three weeks and you’re gonna let him manipulate you like that?” 

“Hey!” Six spoke up, seeing the hurt look on Das’ face. “That’s enough, Two. Let her make her own choices. If she wants to go then I’ll make sure she doesn’t get hurt. If she wants to stay there’s no reason to make her feel guilty about it.” 

“I’m not trying to make her feel guilty. I am trying to point out the reality here,” Portia said. “This girl here spent her whole life in an orphanage and on the streets. Where were you all that time Three? And now you think some DNA match can change all that and turn her into some sweet little obedient daughter? I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work.” 

“I am not staying to obey him,” Das protested. 

“No, you’re staying because you don’t want him to have to worry about you and you don’t want to cause a conflict among your friends. The thing is, you didn’t cause a conflict, he did,” Two said. 

“It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. Just do it without me,” Das got to her feet and fled the room. 

Marcus got up and moved to go after her. Portia turned and shoved him back into his chair. “Sit down!” She told him. 

“Well that was a little bit sexy,” He said, stunned. 

“Why didn’t you tell any of us that she was your daughter?” Portia demanded. 

“Well, I didn’t even know until three weeks ago.” 

“I’m talking about any time in the last three weeks that you could have said something.” She said, ignoring his earlier comment. 

“I figured The Android had already told everyone.” Marcus said. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Portia asked the Android. 

“I didn’t realize it was relevant.” Android said. 

“Why does it matter?” Six spoke up. “It doesn’t change anything for the rest of us. If anything it’s a good thing because now Three has a reason to be a little bit responsible for once and the kid doesn’t feel so alone in life.” 

“You think she felt alone?” Portia asked, concerned. 

“Of course she did,” Six said. “If I know anything about orphans, I know that most of them feel alone and scared for most of their lives. You know how in prison, all the prisoners around you will tell you that they’re actually innocent, they were framed? Well orphans all tell a similar story, especially the little kids. Their parents lost them. That’s what they all say. There was some mistake, some accident, but they know, they just know that they have parents out there somewhere who are trying to find them. Most of them hold onto that belief for years until they get old enough to figure out that it isn’t true. No one one loves them. No one is looking for them…

That kid in there, that kid who has spent months with this crew, is tough, and smart, and compassionate...but somewhere inside she’s just a scared little girl who has been waiting all her life for her parents to find her. And now she’s just starting to figure out that her parents were never even looking for her.” 

“Hey, I don’t know if I even knew she existed back before the memory wipe,” Marcus argued. “I think I would have looked for her if I did know.” 

“It doesn’t matter what you would have done,” Portia said. “We’re all different people now. What matters is what are you going to do about it now?” 

“I’m gonna go talk to her,” He said, getting up cautiously so Portia wouldn’t push him down again. She let him go. 

***************************

Das knew it was Three knocking on her door as soon as she heard the knock. She pushed the button to let him in and didn’t bother to wipe the tears from her face. 

“You been crying this whole time?” He asked her. It had been an hour since she fled to her room. 

“Not the whole time,” She said, moving to sit at the edge of her bed. 

Three took a chair from her desk and sat down across from her. “Look, I know I’m not very good at this whole father thing. And I know I was absent from most of your life so I really don’t have any right to try and play this role now...but that’s why I am trying too hard. It’s because I wasn’t there. Hell I don’t know if I just ran off when you were a baby or if I even knew you existed. Whatever happened, I have to make up for all that now. That’s why I didn’t want you to go on the mission. I have to do what I can to keep you safe.” 

“There’s something you should see,” Das got up and went to the computer behind him. Marcus turned in his chair so he could view the screen. Das pulled up and aerial photo of a city. “This is Centron Technologies where my Mom worked. And that,” She pointed to a building across the street, “Is United Cargo Bank.” 

“That’s in my records. I was involved in a robbery there,” Marcus said. 

“I also found this,” Das pulled up a military record. 

“Who is Benton Mills?” Marcus asked. 

“My stepfather. Look at the dates for his deployment seventeen years ago.” 

“Oh. He was gone from the city for six weeks about the time the robbery took place,” Marcus said, understanding. 

“Yeah. I don’t think you knew I existed. It was the only way my Mom could hide her affair, she couldn’t tell you, she couldn’t tell anyone. Except I think my stepfather figured it out. My medical records show that I had a DNA test on the day I was born. That’s why I got her last name and not his. Even after that, she might not have known how to contact you, or if she had, it would have just made it easier for the authorities to find you. So, I don’t think you knew about me at all.” 

“That’s a nice story kid. It does make me look a little less despicable. Even if it’s true, it doesn’t fix everything.” 

“I don’t want to fix everything. The past is past. Even if you did know about me and even if you did abandon me once, I just need to know that you’re not gonna leave me now,” Das said, her voice breaking. 

Marcus stood and hugged her. “Kid, I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.” 

Das hugged her father until she was finally able to end her tears. 

“I have an idea,” Marcus said as he let her go. “You wanna go on the mission, I’ll go with you myself. Six can go with Two. That way you get to go and I can worry a little less.” 

Das smiled a little at his offer. “Sounds like a plan.”


End file.
